


Don't push me away, Magnus

by Bluiiieee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e14 The Fair Folk, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 08:16:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11376225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluiiieee/pseuds/Bluiiieee
Summary: " I can see that you’re hurting,” He started. “You’re still awake when I go to bed, and you’re long awake when I wake. You have been spacing out throughout the day, you deflect my worries, you have bags under your eyes that weren’t there a month ago,” Alec said quickly listing off the things he had noticed in the past few days. “And you have just been trying to cover it with extra glitter, concealer, and humor.”orWhat I think happened with Magnus and Alec during the recess.





	Don't push me away, Magnus

“Let’s take a recess,” Alec said as Luke made his way from the table, muttering about having to call his pack. Alec understood that Valentine still being alive must be painful for Luke, out of The Cabinet and possibly the entire Downworld he had been one of the most hurt by him. having your Parabatai turn on you must have been unbearable, Alec thought. Even the stress put on his and Jace’s bond after Clary’s arrival had been excruciating at the time, he couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Luke.  
Alec watched Raphael and Meliorn both stand from the round table and walked together to the hallway where Sebastian and Isabelle were making conversation. The moment they were out of the large room Alec’s eyes quickly found Magnus who was standing from his seat, eyes looking heavy making him appear exhausted, something no one at the meeting except Alec, and possibly Raphael, would notice. Magnus met his gaze with a small, clearly forced smile. Alec stood and walked to an emergency exit on the side of the room that leads to a hallway much like all the others in the Institute, gesturing for Magnus to follow him. When he left the room, Magnus right behind him, he leaned against the wall beside the door, releasing a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding. Magnus leaned against the wall opposite of him, head cast down. The way they were standing reminded Alec much of their conversation before waking Jocelyn about Camille. That seemed so long ago now.   
“Are you okay?” Alec asked Magnus after a long silence. Magnus lifted his head up, opening his mouth to respond before Alec cut him off before he could, putting his hand up in front of him in a gesture he often did when he was having serious conversations. “And don’t-- Don’t just say that you are. I saw your face when you were talking about the… Azazel situation.”  
“Alec, it isn’t easy telling someone I hardly know that my body was a hotspot for a psychotic murderer. I’m fine… It’s just not easy to talk about.” Magnus said as reassuringly as he could.   
“That’s just it... You haven’t talked about it since that night, not to me, or as far as I can tell, anyone,” Alec said “and you’ve been acting completely fine… as if it never happened at all.”   
“Is that such a bad thing?” Magnus inquired. “Would you rather I sit around sulking that I got thrown in the body of someone who wishes me and my kind dead and got tortured with my own memories?”   
“Magnus, you know that’s not what I mean,” Alec said, taken aback by Magnus being so defensive. “It’s just... Like you’re closing yourself off to me.”   
“Alexa--” Magnus started softly before Alec cut him back off. “No, Magnus let me talk,” he said. “I can.. I can see that you’re hurting,” He started. “You’re still awake when I go to bed, and you’re long awake when I wake. You have been spacing out throughout the day, you deflect my worries, you have bags under your eyes that weren’t there a month ago,” Alec said quickly listing off the things he had noticed in the past few days. “And you have just been trying to cover it with extra glitter, concealer, and humor.”  
Alec let out a breath, having talked too fast and for too long without one. Magnus stood stunned by Alec’s little rant, he hadn’t thought that hiding himself away was hurting his Alexander if anything he had thought it was the best way to spare Alec the pain. Alec bit his lip before taking a step closer to Magnus, putting his hands out for Magnus to grab, not initiating contact but offering it, something Alec had been mindful of doing since the swap. Magnus took the hint and placed his hands in Alec’s, Alec intertwining their fingers. 

Alec stared into Magnus’ eyes, though the glamour hid the beautiful golden cat eyes it did not hide his emotions, that Magnus had simply learned to do excellently the mundane way. Alec had always been a reader of people, noticing subtle changes in the face or hardly noticeable body language. But he hadn’t been able to get a clear read on Magnus since the incident like he had been able to in the past. Now it seemed, Magnus let those walls drop. Alec could see it now, the pain, the anguish, and the despair. Everything he had locked away was clear to him. Alec looked down at their entwined hands between their bodies. “Do you remember when Jace was missing and you told me not to push you away?” He asked softly.  
Magnus nodded without saying a word. “When things get crazy, don’t push me away,” Alec quoted Magnus’ words, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the back of Magnus’ hand, eyes on them. “That applies to you too, Magnus,” He said. “Don’t push me away.” Magnus nodded, looking at Alec, taking in how sad he looked just because Magnus was in pain, he felt a surge of love go through his chest. “I won’t,” Magnus promised.  
Magnus removed one of his hands from Alec's grip, bringing it to lightly touch Alec’s cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone. Alec sighed in relief, bringing his own hand up and placing it on top of Magnus’ before turning his head to the side to kiss the palm of Magnus’ hand softly. “I love you, Magnus.”  
The corners of Magnus’ mouth pulled into a small smile before he leaned forward to connect his own lips with Alec’s. He felt the corners of Alec’s mouth quirk up ever so slightly before he reciprocated the soft, slow, love filled kiss. _Perfect._  
Magnus was the first to pull back, leaning his forehead against Alec’s. “I love you, too.” He said with a small smile. “We’ll get you through this,” Alec said. “Together.”   
In the time they had been standing together, both had been too distracted to notice the light creaking of the door or the almost inaudible footsteps just down the hall. Suddenly a fake cough made Alec and Magnus jump slightly. Alec noticed how fast Magnus’ demeanor changed, how his back straightened and his face went flat with a look of emotionlessness before he realized it was only Raphael and allowed his shoulders to relax slightly, “Oh, it’s only you,” He said.  Raphael rolled his eyes, looking at where Magnus and Alec’s hands were still together. “I am not in the mood to be in this Institute any longer, nor in the mood to see either of you being all… romancy, so if we could wrap this dreadful meeting up soon,” Raphael said, his voice rough.   
“Y-yes,” Alec silently cursed himself for the stutter. “Yes. Of course,” He said with a nod before releasing Magnus’ hand and walking through the door into the room of the meeting. Magnus paused at the doorway where Raphael stood, holding the door. “Isabelle?” He asked quietly so he knew Raphael could hear but Alec being a few feet ahead could not. Raphael was silent but gave a short nod, confirming Magnus’ suspicions. “Interesting, isn’t it?” Magnus said. “How this generation of Lightwoods just seems to crawl under our skin.”  
Raphael, still not looking at Magnus muttered “I can’t say ‘interesting’ is the word I’d use,” before clenching his jaw and walking with Magnus to the table where Meliorn and Alec had already sat.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated <333  
> I apologize for leaving Raphael sad :(((


End file.
